Orange marmalade is terrible.

Orange marmalade for 99¢ is a bad deal. I put some on bread and threw it right in the garbage where it belongs. There was nothing alright with the bite I sampled.

Look at this skateboarding cartoon-strawberry on a squeeze bottle. Boom. That was 99¢ too. Nice work, Kroger. 

Paddington Bear has horrible taste in food. 

Work snacks stashed at the ready.

I brewed a fresh pot of coffee at work. Then I decided I was hungry. Good thing I have this food stashed everywhere.

The snack was two little sandwiches and some hot slugs from a coffee mug. Raspberry preserves joined the party. The mallet spoke its threat lest the King get out of line...

Top quality cut sandwich.

When it's two people who are hungry, you have to cut the sandwich in half. When apple cinnamon jam is in the mix, it's like dessert inside a meal.

You don't make a better sandwich than this. You only aspire to match the quality. Thanks for the bread, Arnold's. You can go back to sleep now.

America's mental image of a PBJ

Sometimes you need two sandwiches. This loaf of King bread was designed for cheap feeding. The slices are small, but the loaf is long. Add some Jif n' Smuckers and call it lunch.

Blueberry preserves. Boom. This is one of the best jellies I've had. That was the fanciest part. These looked like America's mental image of a PBJ. The Windex and pliers are just for show.

Power breakfast with a funny mug.

Time for work. Time to power up. I had a PBJ on that "Health Nut" bread. Then I packed another bowl of espresso.

Let's look at cost. Half price bread was $2.50. The espresso maker was $12.99, which pays for itself in four uses. The hobo mug cost $1.50. You can cook soup in it, or you can burn your hand. It's a funny day when you buy that mug.

Early morning smorgasbord.

This shit says it all. This morning started with a full-on picnic. I had my Huge Ass Beers cup in action, with the oatmeal guy peeking in on the scene. The morning sun lit shit up, and you can see details on the smart way I live. Oatmeal, yogurt, espresso, and a PBJ that would make your mother scream.

I am not playing games. That's about five shots of Cafe Bustelo on the camp stove. You can see a ray of sun glistening off that heel of bread to the right: I made a quick fold-over for my girlfriend. She knows I'm the boss.

Fancy sandwich and a late espresso.

New bread, and some new organic peanut butter? Sold. I was fucking hungry. I put some espresso in the maker and let the smear campaign begin. Organic peanut butter usually means about an hour of stirring, but this jar of Trader Joe's chunky was ready to spread. Step it up, Crazy Richard. This bitch has sea salt.

Some new "Health Nut" bread was marked half price. I also busted into a jar of "Apple Cinnamon" jelly. Another "Kitchen Kettle Village" jam from the Christmas cache. Espresso brewed camp-style while a sandwich came together on my notebook.

Nice work, Arnold.